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This is my stupid work... which costed my 33 bucks when I sent it for printing yesterday. Heartache manz. I rather spend the money on clothes or shoes.... Was complaining to Sam abt it... I want to buy so many things you know.. wanted to buy a pair of white pants frm M)phosis, bag and shoes... then Sam was telling me I've been receiving quite a bit of pocket money. I am not sure la... but I feel bad spending my parents' money this way.. esp for printing. Hello! I am still a student lor....... stupid sch... made us do all the shit work. Fortunately, my mommy was quite nice... when i told her abt the money i spent on printing, she told me to claim the money from daddy.. hahahaha. But I don't think I am doing that la... it doesn't make me feel better anyway... coz my money was also daddy's money...
Oh my god! Kenny just talked to me... I got a little shocked.. coz he hardly talk to me in school... but i think these days, perhaps his impression of me has changed or something.. hahahaa.. coz i think i was such a shrew in class... i am not too sure abt this though... i know i behave differently when i am pretty stressed over school work. Yup yup. a lot of things happened... btw, he is a christian.
Lately, after my broke up, my mom hinted me if i would like to go back to her church... somehow, i could sense the holy spirit prompting me.. trying to tell me that i am god's child, so i should go back to him. mom was saying that during the period of time when i was with my ex,i was a changed person... now i am somewhat going back to god again... Maybe i have... coz i've been reading the bible n praying... after so so so many months when i was away from him... I remembered his promises... I remembered mine... promises that was made many many many many years ago. When I told my classmate, Shiwen about it, she told me something that shocked me... that she has been praying for me all these while.. she told me when she learned that i had backslided or something, she prayed for me... she is pretty encouraged coz the prayer was finally answered. Hmm. I realise that my spiritual life, is not just my spiritual life... it somewhat concerns others as well... like my family...... I not only have to be responsible for myself.... i have to be responsible for others as well... Sigh! Anyway, I think I am very lucky to have good friends and family around me... my mom has been supportive... and been there for me when i was going through a rough patch... Initially, after the breakup, i tot i would take up to a few weeks to recover or something... haha.. but i got over it the next day... I didnt expect myself to move on SO fast.. hahaha.
Anyway, he is not worth to talk about... i feel that the whole situation was just so unfair to me... like the way he handled the situation. I admit i was at fault too... i don't deny it... he was at fault too.. and didnt make an effort to clear the misunderstanding with his mom. The way he handled it, has made me very disappointed with him... i feel that he is being irresponsible to push all the blame to me. Anyway, whatever it is, it is impossible between he n I... I will never want to be with a guy who is being manipulated by his mother... though he and I agreed to remain as friends.. I won't contact him ever again. unless he comes to contact me... aiz... forget it. I am a happier person now... hehe.. after the break up, my frens seem like they are all coming back to me... A friend had asked me out for dinner at CHIJMES hahaha. Aiya, since he is treating me, then I go lor. Hehehe. He is a friend of mine of 5 to 6 years... hehehe.
Don't really want to talk abt relationship stuff for the time being... dont wanna get involved in one as well.... I still remember the promise I made with God.. many many many years ago. I know, the one who is meant be mine will come back to find me 5 years later. I know who he is... if it is really meant to be... I know he will come back. :) If that really happen, there is no way I can run away from it....
Amaryllis blogged at Thursday, July 27, 2006