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Attention
Better not read this
Basically, I am typing this to vent my frustrations. I have been so busy and tired. I am worn out.... totally jaded... I am very stressed out!!! I just wanna cry to vent my frustrations.
Blame the monday blues... wadever.... I am very stressed!! About my upcoming SA... I have so many projects and do not have enough time to do. Been sleep one or two hours every day... i'm so so so so so so so so so TIRED!!!!!! I still owe Mickey's work... and I tell u... his work r damn tedious.. for every design.. it can lasts me 9 hours to finish I tell u. I am so fed up abt redoing my work so many times. Been doing cut n paste lately... it is fucking irritating... Coz they look so muddy... like shit... Why??? Coz the textures are either too light or dark... I am so fucking irrirated.... His work will be dued next week... and i would hav to submit my cut n piece shit this wed... I was doing it just now... and the fucking toning was very bad. I am so pissed off. I wanted to give up cutting and pasting by simply drawing the textures but my classmates advised me against it, because at the end of the day, i would still have to submit the fucking cut and paste thingy. As u know, design is never ending.. I always do my best for the those fucking design.... but that mickey mouse would always ask me to improve on this n that.. it is never ending... so it is fucking frustrating... To think that u put so much effort on those fucking shit, and no one is going to appreciate it. ASSHOLE!
Pardon my language.. but i am really very pissed... At least, I dont say those words... I type them out. I tell u..... I feel very stressed out every day in school. No idea I siao or what... Why am I doing all these things to myself/? Why I make myself suffer???? Got to know my grades for certain modules... I am so fucking angry with myself... I try so hard why am I still not as good.. Wadever, I admit i am not as patient as some of my classmates... Aizzz.... though my results is average.. i am still fucking angry.... I am hitting my target but I am not there yet... missed by 3 marks... Damn damn damn pissed. And i tell u... when i saw my marks, i tot it was not bad... quite good.. but when I look at the my classmates' marks.. they are much better... u get wad i mean... Sorry, i dunwan to compare with the weaker students... i am talking abt those talented pple... tat feeling is really shitty... When I do my work, pple may come to me and tell me that i have done a good job.... all right, they may be good... when u look at them individually.... but when its time to compare... i can assure u that my work is shit... Well, this is how i feel... or u can argue that I can look at it at a different perspective... maybe thats true... when i see their work, i say that its nice... when they look at my work, they say tat its nice but i dun think likewise.... get wad i mean? Yah.... this is it...
Enuff of making noise.. i gotta sleep.. so tired. I bitch so that I would feel better......then tml i would hav the mood to do my work arr..... that mickey mouse's work... and my other projects. I think I am aiming for a pass for mickey's work.... coz its really shitty... they other subjects... i am aiming for As.. I must get an A for the other projects.. I must do it. I must do it!!!!!
Yesh! thats the spirit... No use crying here.......
Amaryllis blogged at Tuesday, August 23, 2005